Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Big Day Out

Campers, tomorrow is my much-anticipated lunch with DMR at Le Bernardin. To celebrate the occasion, I have gone to the restaurant's website for a round of my favorite game, What Will I Eat?  I have decided to order from the menu, reasoning that at such a piscatorial palace, devoted to simple preparations and the freshest ingredients, it shouldn't be that hard to find offerings sans cereal from the kitchen.

Also, I don't want to make a fuss. I refuse to announce to the waiter that I am gluten-free and requiring of kid gloves - for one thing, I don't want to be one of 'those people' who in restaurants quizzes the staff about everything on the plate. A lively conversation about the chef's intentions is one thing, but I always think in a really fine establishment a certain amount of trust on both sides is involved.

In addition, I don't want to make an embarrassing scene. That's all too likely to happen at Michelin-starred restaurants without the added pressure of requiring something special from the staff. I once used the wrong plate for my salmon rillettes - horrors! On another occasion, my companion used her butter knife for the amuse - shocking! And then there was the time somebody knocked over a glass full of NYC's finest tap water - humiliation! The staff are always very kind and polite, of course, but the backs of their necks tell the whole story: when country bumpkins present themselves at fancy-schmancy chowhouses, any catastrophe is possible.

As a result of these concerns, therefore, I will be sticking with the three-course prix fixe on offer. Let's see - what do I want Eric to cook just for me?

For my starter ... I could always go with raw oysters, but why would I deny myself an exhibition of the kitchen's technical skill? I've had the signature pounded tuna with foie gras before and it's divine, but half the joy comes from the crispy crouton on which the creation sits. I am tempted by yuzu-cured wild salmon with shaved red beets or possibly striped bass tartare with mustard oil and seaweed vinaigrette, but - hold everything! There it is! Grilled salted cod with a salad of sea lettuce, apples and hazelnuts - unless I have escolar with chilled carrot/lime mousseline and miso sauce vierge. I really love escolar, and it's not easy to find. So far, so good. At least four delicious choices - I knew chef wouldn't let me down!

For my main course ... this is a little trickier. The black bass is accompanied by little steamed buns and the red snapper is bread-crusted (I've had that, too - it's heaven). The baked lobster with mole puree and bacon Bordelaise sounds ambrosial, but there's a twenty dollar supplement. Wait a second - the 'barely cooked' wild salmon is served with braised snails, potatoes, sweet garlic parsley and a Pernod sauce (wow) and the yellowtail shares its plate with black truffle risotto and baby vegetables. Risotto is one of my favorite things in the world, and I don't think I could ever get enough noble fungi. Tough choice. Good thing I have until tomorrow to think it over!

For dessert ... tarts and gateaux are not really the thing at Le Bernardin - Michael Laiskonis is far too subtle for such obvious fallbacks, and from a sweet menu of eight possibilites (not including cheese), it looks like five are gluten-free. There is plenty to consider: dark chocolate cremeux with burnt orange meringue; Gianduja cream with hazelnuts and brown butter ice cream; caramelized figs with red wine caramel, goat cheese fondant, and bacon ice cream; or pistachio mousse with caramelized white chocolate and bing cherries. I've had something like the fig thing before (gustatorially without peer), but I'm curous about the pistachio mousse -  how on earth do you caramelize white chocolate?

Clearly, some negotiations with DMR will be in order so we can share. Or maybe we can order three lunches? Now that would be embarrassing.

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