The Eyes Have It

Ten days ago I bought two huge bags of organic russet potatoes during my Whole Foods buying bash. Normally, I don't buy spuds in such large quantities, preferring to purchase them as needs arise. However, since the Market is, like, a million miles away and I don't get there very often, buying in bulk seemed like a sensible option.

I kept the sacks on the bottom-most of my Metro shelves, just inside the garage door, judging that they would benefit from the cool drafts thus provided whilst at the same time being near to hand whenever the urge to cook them became unbearably strong. After a fair amount of time during which I served the taters in a variety of delicious ways, you can imagine what happened. They all sprouted! Every single one! Four pounds of potatoes with little shoots bursting out in all directions, looking like so many porcupines after one of those home perms that, urban legend tells us, causes one's hair to turn green.

Now, I am not afraid to eat sprouted potatoes but they are no longer aesthetically suitable for serving in their formal jackets. So I hurriedly peeled them and boiled them, put them through my ricer, and bought myself some time by making a huge bowlful of mash that is lasting forever (more on its myriad uses later).

All this kerfuffle (smack dab in the middle of my mozzarella experiments, no less) reminded me of the DDT and fungicide-filled specimens lurking in my basement. It may be recalled that they were part of another food study, begun on December 10, which was prompted by the Rodale Press' rather rash claim that it is impossible to sprout a commercially-grown, non-organic potato.

I'm afraid that in the grand whirl that is my life, I quite forgot about those benighted tubers languishing under the kitchen stairs.

Down the rickety steps I went, clump clump clump, into the dark, bleak basement. I retrieved the brown paper bag from its hiding place next to the beer, wine, bags of rice, and rolls of paper towels. I hesitated for a moment before peeking inside. What would I find? There could have been almost anything in there! My heart thumped wildly and a cold sweat broke out upon my furrowed brow. Almost afraid to look, I carefully opened the bag and peered into the dark recesses.

Guess what I discovered?



Those are sprouts - unless my eyes deceive me!