Reverse Engineering

The heavens let loose on Monday night and yesterday morning, leaving every roadway and sidewalk for miles around covered in three inches of snow topped with a thin sheet of rock-hard slipperiness.

Normally, such meteorological events are the cause of much rejoicing chez Fractured Amy, particularly in the case of the youngest member of the household who, at 17 years old, still gets excited by the promise of a day off school.

On Tuesdays, however, the transportation challenges posed by icy roads are Bad Things, posing as they do a serious threat to our Curry Night ritual. Yesterday's storm was nothing short of catastrophic and Sir announced with great reluctance that he was unwilling to risk life and limb just to bring home Chicken Dopiaza and Lamb Saagwala. What this reveals about Sir's character, I will leave for readers to decide - but I must confess this was one of those rare occasions when I was forced to question his priorities.

I kept my opinions to myself (another rarity!) and considered dinner substitutes. Why not do Curry Night at home? I was unable to get to the shops, of course, so I was forced to make do with pantry staples. I reasoned that I could put together a reasonable chicken tikka, having in the freezer the requisite protein and in the pantry some of Patak's excellent tikka masala sauce (it's gluten-free, you know). I figured I could saute some vegetables with the chicken, add the sauce, and tart up the final product with some additional secret ingredients, rendering the main course a fait accompli.

Before readers get their knickers in a twist about my making curry from a jar, I would like to point out that I had already spent considerable time in the morning (before snow-shovelling duty commenced), producing a fine batch of home-made ricotta cheese. Every girl has her limits, after all.

But what about my favorite zafrani pulao Kashmiri, jewel of our beloved curry house's menu, my desert island dish of choice without which Tuesdays just aren't worth waking up for? Doing without, I decided, was too high a price to pay for a bit of snow. I pondered for a while and decided that, having eaten the pulao, oh, about a gazillion times, I could apply some deductive reasoning to the problem and fabricate a reasonable facsimile with in-house ingredients.

An hour later, I had a heaping pan full of delectable rice that the family agreed was terribly terribly pukka. I may have made it too well and set an unfortunate precedent: Sir is now imprudently questioning the need to bring home Indian take-away every Tuesday!

Here is how to make Snow Day Zafrani Pulao a la Del Monte:

First, cook the basmati rice: melt a bit of butter in your glass-topped rice pan. Rinse well one cup of rice and add it to the butter, stirring it around over medium heat until it turns translucent. Add one and one-half cups of good vegetable stock, give it a stir, slam the lid on the pot and bring it to the boil. When you can see by peering through the lid that bubblage has been achieved, turn the heat to low and continue cooking until all the moisture is absorbed. Leave the lid on and turn off the heat. The rice will be good to go in another ten minutes or so.

Heat up about half a cup of milk (just to a simmer) in the microwave and add a pinch of saffron. Leave this to infuse while you address the rest of the ingredients.

In a large saute pan heat another blob of butter. Add a finely chopped sweet onion and cook it over low heat until it is very soft - about fifteen minutes. When that is done, add spices that you like (I used equal amounts of turmeric, cumin, and ginger, plus a bit of cayenne and cardamom. I also added a bay leaf.) and turn up the heat to toast them nicely. Add a handful of natural pistachios and another handful of raisins (I used my favorite Hunza golden beauties) and stir it all up together: reduce the heat to medium and add the saffron milk. Let it simmer while the rice finishes cooking.

Just before adding the rice, open one 15 oz. can of fruit cocktail and rinse the contents in a sieve (I had the kind that was packed in pear juice rather than syrup, but rinsed it anyway). Whatever else you do, make sure you use a variety with cherries! If you don't have any canned fruit on hand, I suppose it wouldn't be disastrous - but Chef always includes it in his version and in my opinion, it's the piece de resistance that makes the pulao an undeniable triumph. Take the chill off the fruit by adding it to the pan and when it is warm, add the cooked rice. Mix it all up and season as necessary with salt and pepper.

Serve it straight away with your favorite spicy curry: it will feed three or four as a side dish. Leftovers microwave beautifully, as I discovered at lunch time today. But be wary - it could spell the end of take-away Curry Night.