This week, the patriotic producers at Bravo decided to pay tribute to our gallant armed forces by presenting the Not-Quite-Masters with the challenge of cooking a homecoming buffet for our brave guys and gals returning from overseas.
Let's see how the Cheftestants did, shall we?
**
Sung to the tune of The Halls of Montezuma
Mary Sue made tomatillos,
avocados and barbecue
For a Marine from Guatemala,
not Bolivia or Peru.
The judges loved her ribs and corn relish,
and her breh-hed pudding - whew!
So she won lots of cash for her charity -
and goes through to the finale, too.
**
Sung to the tune of Anchors Aweigh
Meatloaf all day, my boys!
Meatloaf all the way!
Traci ground some beef up
even though it's not gourmet.
So it's not gluten-free,
but it isn't dumb -
for the tars in our Navy
she baked peach cobbler, baked peach cobbler - yum!
**
Sung to the tune of The Caisson Song
Floyd loves spice! Thinks it's nice! Uses it to flavor rice,
His masala goes rolling along.
He was scared, didn't dare, chose to cook some simple fare.
He thought cayenne would be much too strong.
So it's steak, you see! All rare and garlicky!
With spinach, and mash and mushroom jus.
Though it was very plain, all the Army guys exclaimed,
'We love Floyd's beef, and so-o should you!'
**
Sung to the tune of Up in the Air, Junior Birdman
Naomi was mean to the nice man!
He was her dad, tho' she didn't know.
She yelled and she yelled, but he's a big fan!
And let the matter go.
She got a surgeon from the Air Force,
From Hawaii - how very glam.
She tried to make shrimp and poke, perforce -
But should have cooked him Spam!
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