Top Chef All-Stars, Finale: Last Post for Moleskine

Fractured Amy is pleased to grant Moleskine II

the last word on Top Chef All-Stars

I'm back, fans! I am so happy to be able write about the season finale of Top Chef All-Stars!  It is my FAVORITE show and I am sorry it is over, except it isn't really because Top Chef Masters starts next week, which is also an AWESOME show even though Wylie Dufresne never EVER wins. But he keeps trying to win and maybe this year he will, which would be GREAT because he is my FAVORITE chef. I bet he uses a Moleskine notebook because awesome chefs always do because we are so COOL and HELPFUL for people who have lots of good ideas.

That is why I wanted to Blais to win more than ANYTHING. He has Moleskine notebooks that he writes EVERYTHING in. But I was so scared he might lose to nasty horrible Mike Isabella, who once STOLE one of Blais' recipes RIGHT OUT OF HIS NOTEBOOK, that I almost didn't want to watch TV this morning. Only Fractured Amy said I HAD to if I wanted to find out who won. I didn't think that was FAIR but she said that if SHE had to get up an hour early to find out what happened then I did too because SHE wasn't going to tell ME who won if I didn't keep her company. But then I was glad I watched it because it was really really really good and the food looked AWESOME even though I couldn't taste it because it was on TV and I don't have any tastebuds.

So COOL Blais and UGLY Mike had to cook a meal with four courses and they each had help from three others chefs who already lost. And I was worried because Blais got Spike who wanted to be jet skiing instead of cooking because they were in the Bahamas and I hate Spike almost as much as I hate mean horrible Mike. And then I was extra worried because Mike got Carla who is AWESOME and is always very very HELPFUL and probably wouldn't like jet skiing anyway so she was happy to be cooking instead of doing that. So I was scared that Mike would win and that wouldn't have been fair because it wasn't Blais' fault that he got Spike who always looks STUPID in his dumb HATS.

And when Spike was in charge of the dining room at Blais' restaurant he was very MESSY looking and I thought maybe he had gone to sleep in a GUTTER but Fractured Amy says he always looks like that, even when he is cooking cheeseburgers for the PRESIDENT probably!

And then the chefs started to cook and I got REALLY worried because Mike looked like he knew what he was doing and he didn't act like a JERK like he always does. And he seemed to be nice to his cooks and he didn't use so many bad words or GIGGLE too much and I got really SCARED he would win. And Blais seemed worried that Mike would win, too, and I wanted to shout at the television for him not to be so upset and to have some CONFIDENCE but he wouldn't have heard me because he was on TV and anyway we were only watching a recording, so he REALLY would not have heard me. Also I don't have any vocal chords.

So then they started bringing out the food and one of the judges was Lidia Bastianich who knows EVERYTHING and another judge was Hubert Keller who I think looks very nice with his crinkly eyes and friendly smile. I think he must have Moleskine notebooks too because he is another AWESOME chef.

I never heard of the other judges so I didn't care about them.

And then the judges started to taste the food and I stopped being scared and started being confused because the judges liked EVERYTHING and didn't say anything BAD except when they ate Blais' ice cream that was made of foie gras and Mike's custard that had bubbles in it. But all of the food looked good to me, including the things that I didn't know what they were, like hamachi and sweetbreads, which Fractured Amy told me were some kind of GLANDS. And I would have liked to have eaten some of it except I don't have a stomach.

But when they got to judge's table it was still very very HARD to tell who had won and Hubert Keller said it was TOUGH to decide and Padma looked like she wanted to CRY. And I wanted to cry too because it was so TENSE but I don't have any tear ducts.

And then HOO-RAAAYYY! Blais won he won he won he WON! And I stopped being worried and scared and started being happy and excited because BLAIS is the coolest CHEF and I wanted him to win for forever! And all the other chefs started to cry and even Mike Isabella started to cry but not for the same reason and for a minute I forgot I hated him and started to feel sorry for him. And then he said that he didn't really lose because he's better than Blais and I started to hate him ALL OVER AGAIN.

Blais won $200,000 and that is a very lot of money but he deserves it. And so it was worth it to get up early to see him win but I wish I had $200,000 which I need because I am going on VACATION! My pages are all full up and it puts me in a bad mood when I must get up an hour early to see Top Chef so now there is a new notebook who I already DO NOT LIKE. But I am going on vacation soon so it doesn't bother me too much that the new notebook is STUPID and a GIRL.

So good-bye everybody! It has been FUN to be a gluten-free Moleskine notebook! Since the first day of the year I got to watch the MUPPETS and I learned to make cheese and I saw JAM-making except there is another notebook for that so I wouldn't get my pages in a mess and first that bothered me but then I was GLAD not to be so sticky. It has been GREAT and FUN to see Fractured Amy having conniption fits in the kitchen, which happens a lot when she is making DESSERTS and pasta and trying terrible gluten-free things in PACKAGES! And I would have enjoyed drinking a cocktail except I don't have a mouth.

Now I have a fancy new cover to wear on vacation which the Field Correspondent in the Twin Cities (FCitTC) sent and which I LOVE so I would like to show you my picture before I go.

I don't look FAT, do I?