Superpowers

As I have faithfully recorded elsewhere, I generally do not leave the house without backup provisions in the eventuality that I am stranded in a part of the world where the only food available is loaded with gluten. My rations of choice are Kind cranberry and almond bars (all natural! certified gluten free! dairy free! loaded with anti-oxidants! doesn't taste like packing material!), an entire box of which I purchased in anticipation of my trip to the UK.

For two reasons, it never made it into my suitcase.

• This holiday involves several train journeys and I wanted to pack as little as possible. Of course, since I like to be prepared for any and all eventualities, my idea of 'packing light' makes most seasoned travellers guffaw with disbelief. A sudden blizzard in August? No worries - I've got gloves, hats and scarves at the ready. We receive an unexpected invitation to a fancy dinner right after taking a 5-mile walk in the rain? I have four pairs of shoes standing by. Snake bite? Covered! But at least I saved a bit of room by leaving my cereal bars behind.
• I considered that the UK is civilized place where g/f snacks must be easily available, rendering my packing of same a bit redundant. Anyway, I love grocery shopping when abroad. How else would I know that there's such a thing as kipper-flavored potato chips?

During my introductory trip to Sainsbury's for holiday staples, I found an admirable substitute:

Sadly, my discovery is lacking in certain essential characteristics. Whereas I rely on my Kind bars to provide innumerable health benefits - including life eternal and riches beyond my wildest imaginings - their Brit equivalents are rather more modest in their claims:

I hope I don't regret leaving my trusted standbys at home.

It has always been my plan, after all, to live forever.